You know how much I LOVE vanilla vodka, so when Gina at Jasper O’Farrell’s offered me this drink instead of my usual vanilla Cape Cod, I was both intrigued and delighted. It’s delicious and uncomplicated.

2 oz Vanilla Vodka

2 oz Pineapple Juice

trickle of Grenadine

Happy New Year, Barflies!

From the boozy north comes this little holiday gem, courtesy of one of my BFFs, the Martini Minx.

Chai-Tai

2 oz vanilla vodka (unless you are spending the holidays with family and/or have out of town guests, then make it 4 oz)

2 oz Chai

1 oz half & half (or cream or fat-free half & half)

Shake and pour over ice

Merry Effin Christmas from the Barflies

For those of you who prefer the more classic holiday treat recipe for Rum Balls – here’s a less radical twist using our local Korbel VSOP Brandy.

1 1/2 cups toasted pecans, finely chopped (hazelnuts, walnuts, or almonds can be used)

1 1/4 cups finely crushed vanilla wafer cookies

1/2 cup confectioners sugar

3 tablespoons cocoa powder (unsweetened)

2 tablespoons light corn syrup

1/4 cup  VSOP Brandy

Garnish:

1/2 cup confectioners sugar, sifted (lazy people omit the sifting)

As per the last recipe – mix your dry ingredients in a large bowl, add the wet ingredients and mix. Chill your dough and then form into balls and roll in powdered sugar. It’s the ultimate in lazy no-bake Christmas cookies.

While rolling your balls in powdered sugar, go ahead and have a nice hot toddy or spice chai with a dollop of brandy…

Rum Balls are kind of a traditional holiday treat, but this year I decided to make something with whiskey, Jameson’s to be precise. This is a Barfly exclusive recipe, taste-tested by the drunks and lushes of the North Bay Pool League. Remember kids, when cooking with booze it’s always a good idea to have a few shots of the booze both beforehand and while cooking to make sure that it hasn’t spoiled or otherwise been tainted in the process.

Jameson Irish Whiskey Balls

1 1/2 cup of finely crushed gingersnaps – use a blender or food processor (two things that don’t work are 1) placing the cookies in a bag and stomping on them like grapes and 2) using a hammer and a towel)

1 1/2 cup pecan halves

1/2 cup confectioner’s sugar (that’s powdered sugar, honkies)

2 tbsp light corn syrup

splash of vanilla

1/4-3/4 cup of Jameson’s Irish Whiskey

1. Pre-heat your oven to 450 degrees. Place your nuts on a piece of tin foil and bake them for about 4-6 minutes until they get that nice toasty smell. Remove from the oven, cool and then grind them up in blender or food processor. Place in a medium mixing bowl.
2. Finely crush your cookies (do not toss) and add to the bowl. Mix.
3. Throw in the sugar, corn syrup, vanilla and booze. Work it, baby, work it.
4. Chill. The dough, that is.
5. Form into little balls, roll in powdered sugar and place into super cute paper cups.

How freakin’ easy is that?

The Rendez Vous Bistro (614 4th St, Old Courthouse Square) is reminiscent of buying mint juleps at Disneyland or staying at the Paris hotel in Las Vegas. The decor is a little over the top, making it more of a whimsical environment instead of a serious atmosphere. Nothing wrong with that…

First of all, let me just say – what a kick ass drink menu! Running down the list of drinks, I had a seriously hard time deciding which I would want to try first. Vodka and gelato shots? Count me in. Everything sounded yummy – blood orange, cucumber, ginger – lots of flavor profiles to choose from (+1000 for creativity).

There’s also a double happy hour – a traditional happy hour until 6pm and then a late night happy hour with discounted shots and well drinks (+500).

There plenty of seating to go around, a friendly bartender and a nice selection of booze (+1500).

We didn’t stay very long, but what I did see of Rendez Vous Bistro was very positive and it’s on the list for a return visit!

Final Score: 3000

Had we been thinking about it, Monday night was probably not the best night to check out Third Street Aleworks (610 Third Street, Santa Rosa) seeing as it is football season. Located in the old Good Earth restaurant building (shows you how long ago I lived in Sonoma County), Third Street Aleworks is a spacious, two-story bar/restaurant/brewery. The first thing I noticed when I walked in the door was the ear-splitting shrieks of small children (-35,000) that reverberated through my skull before landing, like an icepick, into the nerves behind my left eye. I can’t think of anyone who looks for the shrill screeching of other people’s crotch demons when picking out a dining establishment so even though “family-friendly” might not be a bad thing in general (after all, as much as I would prefer it, you can’t force people with small children to stay home for 6-8 years), providing an atmosphere where it’s okay for children to literally run, screaming through a maze of tables guarantees I will not be back. After all, Third Street Aleworks isn’t Chuck E Cheese’s (or is it?).

We were sat upstairs, between dueling groups of grown men in football jerseys screaming at televisions suspended over the tables and children wielding pool cues. But it’s Monday Night football, so that’s to be expected. After about 15 minutes, I decided to start timing how much longer it would take the waitress, who walked by our table no less than six times, to notice that we were there. Another 8 minutes later, she decided to pop round and check in.

“Oh!” she said, surprised, as if we had just pulled off some incredible magic trick by suddenly appearing at a table in her station. “Did you want to order something?”

I’m not sure what gave it away, the empty table sprawled before us? The stack of menus on our table? Perhaps she thought we had just been walking by and gotten tired, so we decided to walk into the restaurant and ask for table so we could rest and come in from the cold, perhaps to do some meditation or to catch up on some light menu reading (-5,000).

Brewery = beer. I understand this but usually there is a cider of some kind that I can enjoy. Not at Third Street. Nope, not a one (-1,000). I had to order root beer instead because there’s no cocktails either.

The food looked good and there’s a $5 Monday Night football pizza special, which is cool (+200). They also have other food and drink specials throughout the week (Thursday is hot dog/wurst night for $5.50, +500).

My favorite part of the evening was when, although we had a table, place settings and menus for four people, our waitress brought our check about 4 minutes after the drinks and some food arrived, even though we only had three people sitting there. That pretty much guaranteed that we wouldn’t be ordering any more food and drinks (-5000).

We had also asked to speak with the manager at one point, who never bothered to stop by (-2000).

Monday Night football is a busy time, I will give you that. I understand slower than usual service, noisier than usual atmosphere and the scattered attentions of a busy server. I also commend Third Street for hiring differently-abled servers and participating in the local McJobs program, but rushing your customer out the door before the other person in their party even arrived and being completely ignored after requesting to speak to the manager is simply inexcusable. Third Street Aleworks = FAIL.

Final Score: -infinity

Are you feeling claustrophobic?

Located near in the industrial park area of Santa Rosa, the Nutty Irishman (900 block of Piner Rd), is a very … interesting place. I wanted to go there because they participate in the pool league that I play on and I wanted to check out the pool table. The large, nondescript building butts up against a small parking lot, but this is okay because there’s a HUGE lot across the street and lots of on-street parking. The first door leads to the restaurant portion of our tour while the second goes to the bar.

The Nutty Irishman has a huge space that they’ve managed to use an inefficiently as possible. Low ceilings, narrow walkways and a massive bar fill the room which with nearly any other configuration could be made into a spacious and welcoming environment. I literally felt like the room was closing in on me while I was there and that was before getting a drink.

While the rest of the bar is cave-like, it does open up a little bit where the pool table is, although again, it seems pushed into the corner without a lot of room for maneuvering. I don’t know much more about it because two drunk men were playing pool and I didn’t feel like challenging the table. This is most definitely a blue collar, locals-only bar. The food is fine, not great but not bad and the prices are fair. The drinks are affordable with a reasonable selection of beer and booze. The ambiance (and I use that term loosely) leaves something to be desired. There’s a good happy hour that goes until 7pm and karaoke a couple of nights a week.

Although the bar itself is too big for the space, I did like that it was open so that you could sit and stare at the people sitting across from you on the other side. The service wasn’t bad but it wasn’t stellar either. Frankly, the Nutty Irishman didn’t inspire any feelings from me besides claustrophobia. Would I go back? If I were on that side of town and didn’t want to go all the way to Equus, maybe.

Overall Score: Meh.

I understand that businesses are open in order to make money, I really do. I’m a good capitalist and consumer and I understand the basics of economics, but what the hell is up with charging $2 for a soda in a bar? Is the 400-500% mark-up on your alcohol sales not enough for you, you greedy bastards?

Now, in theory at least, I might be able to begrudgingly rationalize paying $2 for a fountain soda from Subway or 7-11 because there is the cost of the cups, straws and lids. I know cups are expensive because I used to help restaurant owners with their budgets. That is also how I know that a fountain soda served in a GLASS at a BAR with NO FREE REFILLS costs about oooohhhh…. maybe (and let’s be generous on the side of the bar owner) .18 cents. The soda company provides and maintains all of the nasty fountain equipment but regardless, bars use the gun, so they have no additional equipment. The biggest cost to them is the syrup. Charge me a dollar and you still make a nice profit. I will pay $1.50 and not be too bitter, but $2.00 is overkill. First of all, designated drivers should drink for free – why? Because they are ensuring that your bar doesn’t get charged when the drunken fool who’s been slamming Jager shots all night goes out on the 101 and kills a family of four.

You know what really pisses me off? When the soda costs as much as a happy hour drink. You’re charging $2 for well cocktail or a bottle of beer and the same for a 16 oz pint glass of ice and a splash of soda? Am I the only person who finds this unreasonable? And no refills… really? I can get the same drink with a cup for .79 at a convenience store. I can buy a liter of soda for $2 at the supermarket. I can purchase a bottle of Coke from a vending machine in the mall for $2. Do you see the difference? Each of those purchases A) involves packaging and production costs and B) is a better value than buying a soft drink at a bar. As for me, if I’m not drinking booze, I’m sticking to water which is still (for now) free.

They wisely changed the price of a slice from $4 to a more reasonable $2.50. I hear the pizza is pretty good, since the new owner is also the proprietor of the pizza place in Cotati (which does not serve slices in the evening, wtf?). But pizza is not the only change…

For the time being Jasper’s is CASH ONLY. I could rant about this for pages and pages but since I am assured it will be rectified soon, I will refrain from spewing venom about business owners who inconvenience their patrons and pass on costly bank fees by using a proprietary ATM machine on the premises instead of just sucking up the relatively lower fees that the banks charge them for credit/debit transactions (hint: it’s not $2.50 per transaction like the Jasper’s ATM).

Additionally, the happy hour hours have changed. $2 Tuesday is now $2.50 Tuesday and includes well and all draft beers all day. During the rest of the week, happy hour is 3pm-6pm and includes well drinks and ONLY draft Bud and Coors Light.

Meanwhile, for those of you who just can’t wait to start drinking on a weekend morning, there’s a 10am-2pm happy hour Saturday and Sunday.

(…..)

I hope you are paying attention because there will be quiz later.

Other changes include remodeling the stinky, scary bathrooms and actually cleaning the bar interior. Check out these gleaming floors!

Now if only they would add lighting to the scary dark parking area in the alley…

I’ve been wanting to try the happy hour at Stark’s Steakhouse (Adams and 7th, near Railroad Square) ever since I heard they had $2 martinis on Wednesday and Thursday. I finally had a chance last Thursday.

I love the lounge at Stark’s because it has all the elements that make you feel good about yourself even though you’re drinking in the middle of the afternoon. The roaring fireplace (+500) lends an air of coziness on a chill winter afternoon and the Baby Grand Piano (+100) adds enough class that you might forget you’re actually in Santa Rosa and not somewhere slightly more exotic, like Cotati. Just kidding – you won’t forget you’re in Santa Rosa.

The atmosphere is nice and cozy. Happy hour was quite busy while we were there, patrons seated in every one of the club chairs and every seat at the bar. Still, despite the fact that it was full, it never felt crowded.

We were there for the great happy hour menu that includes $2 martinis on Wednesday and Thursday (+200). I’m not a big gin drinker but I appreciate it when happy hour specials include brands I’ve heard of like Beefeater, and not some no-name well liquor. There’s a limit of two per person (-100) and I give that a negative score not because I don’t appreciate the management’s attempts to keep people from getting trashed at 3pm and then driving home but because the martinis themselves are more like halfsies and not whole martinis. Perhaps I should give the portion size negative points instead but I’d actually be okay with the size providing I could order say three or four, if I were staying for the entire happy hour (3pm-6pm, M-F). Of course, if the portions were full, maybe I wouldn’t want three or four…

Also on special are $5 Effen Black Cherry Drops, which I am definitely going back for (and I will be pissed if I get a half drink for $5, FYI), and the house draft ($2.50) and three wines ($4) as well (+200 for diversity). But let’s just be honest here — the real reason I went was for the happy hour food menu. There’s two tier pricing in effect; a $1.50 menu and a $3.50 menu. For $1.50 you can get BBQ oysters, tuna tartar tacos, meatloaf sliders, yam or truffle fries. I had the meatloaf slider and it was pretty awesome for $1.50 (+400). From the $3.50 menu, I selected the sweet chili chicken wings which were also very good. Your other options include a potato skin fondue (which is mysteriously vague enough that I’ll order it next time), hummus, calamari, onion rings and Moroccan chicken meatballs which are also slightly mysterious. It’s fair to say that between the hours of 3pm and 6pm, you can get slightly drunk and have a nice afternoon meal for about $10 depending on how hungry you are. Affordable without sacrificing ambiance or service.

Speaking of service, it was quite good. Our server took his time to greet me when I sat down but it was very busy. After he took my order, he was very courteous as to keeping me informed of when my food would be arriving and checking in on drinks. He came around for a happy hour last call which is always appreciated (+250) and was friendly without being unprofessional. High marks!

As far as clientele, there were lots of pretty people to look at. If one were inclined, it might be a good single’s happy hour bar. (+50)

Overall, Stark’s has everything I want in a happy hour – cheap food, cheap drinks, good service and ample seating/parking (+100).

Overall Score: 1700