Atmosphere: Dive Bar²

Clientele: Working stiffs, rough around the edges but friendly and tweakers

Spirits: full bar, emphasis on low, low end

Staff: Dice Master Nick

A barfly (an actual barfly, not just a barfly reader) suggested that we head over to The Zoo (527 Barham Ave, just off of Petaluma Hill Rd in Santa Rosa), so we off we went. It took some driving around to find the place (barflies are not that good at giving directions) but once we did, we parked right in front and ogled the amazingly awesome hand drawn illuminated signs. Then we slipped out brass knuckles into our pockets and headed in the door…

Like most authentic dive bars, The Zoo doesn’t appear to have been touched with any kind of soap and water since the late 60’s. The inside is dingy, murky and dismal. The dark walls are lined with variety of posters and hand-drawn portraits. There’s a horseshoe shaped bar in the middle of the room, tended by the very adorable, very personable Nick (who is also very crafty, so know your limits when you sit down).

Hot bartender!

Nick pours a generous shot and it appears that playing dice is the de facto way to get free drinks at The Zoo – although I suspect it behooves you to know the rules in advance. You should also keep in mind that someone always loses and ends up paying the tab for all.

There’s a jukebox against the wall with a very strong emphasis on country western music, but does include at least a little old school metal, rap and rock. Two pool tables take up the rest of the interior space. Heading outside to the smoking area, you will find a horseshoe pit for your enjoyment as well.

To be honest, what really surprised me was that the bathrooms were not only (moderately) clean but stocked with toilet paper and soap! Awesome.

So let’s recap:

440 Club

Dive bar

Metal jukebox

Hot nuts

Hot bartender

Stiff drinks

Parking

Cash only

No TP

Infested with throngs of 20-something hipsters after midnight

The Zoo

Dive bar

Parking

Hot Bartender

Stiff drinks

Country jukebox

Pool tables – Ladies pool league on Wednesday night

Horseshoe pit

Dice

Takes debit cards

Frankly, you had me at “takes debit cards” and “has pool tables.”

So sorry, 440 Club, it looks like when it’s time to get our dive bar on, we’re the Zoo’s bitches now.

Pros:

Debit cards

Parking

Horseshoes/Pool

Cheap drinks

Cons:

Tweakers

Strange location with nothing else nearby